Thousands of dollars were spent on their dresses, hair, makeup and shoes, but all you could see was ugly, ugly, ugly. “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” reunion, part 1, was a new low for this show and for Bravo– and that’s really saying something.
Sure, there were some funny moments. Lauren Manzo had the best line of the night. After accusing Teresa of having a ghostwriter do her Bravo blog — which Teresa denied — Lauren made reference to a word Teresa had used in a blog post and asked her, “What’s ‘napalm’ mean? Spell it.” Teresa could not answer that.
“Spell it! Just laughed out loud,” my friend, colleague and longtime “RHONJ” watcher Elisa Ung texted me at that point. I had asked her to share her opinion of the episode as it was airing, and I’ll sprinkle her comments throughout this post.
Mostly, there was, not humor, but disturbing name-calling and expletive-hurling when the women gathered at the Borgata, the first time they’d all been in the same room since the night before the last reunion, a year ago. And a cast of additional characters was waiting backstage (with a large cast of security people, we sincerely hope).
Referee Andy Cohen tried to keep the girls on track, but he often lost control as they shouted at and over one another, or rather, as Teflon Teresa took on one after another.
Besides the ghostwriter business, the surprising revelations included Andy’s statement that Jacqueline and her husband owe $8 million from the bankruptcy of his apparel business. Jac insisted this was nothing like the Giudices’ personal bankruptcy, which was caused by their excessive spending. Teresa replied with her stock answer to such things: “Excuse me? Excuse me?”
The saddest moment in the reunion came after Andy rolled in a montage tape about Jacqueline’s 3-year-old son, Nicholas, who, she recently revealed, has been diagnosed as autistic. One old clip showed him telling his mother, “I love you” — something Nicholas can no longer say, because he has regressed in his use of language. As Jacqueline sobbed, Caroline comforted her and said, “He’s gonna say it again.”
When Teresa, in a very low-cut emerald green gown, tried to interject herself into the moment, Caroline told her and her “[expletive]Christmas-pageant dress” to back off.
Teresa replied by calling Caroline, “you old hag.”
EU: “Teresa is seriously evil. Kind of scaring me.” And shortly after that: “Andy kind of looks stressed out, no?”
Yes. In fact, Andy looks a lot older than he did in the reunion show that aired a year ago. But these “ladies” could age anyone. And we must remember that as a Bravo executive (as well as host), Andy did create these monsters.
Jacqueline made the revelation about Nicholas’ autism to People magazine. When Teresa suggested that she had gotten paid for doing so, Melissa said, “People magazine doesn’t pay unless you’re like Jennifer Aniston.” I have no idea if that’s true, but at least they don’t think they’re celebrities of that caliber.
Enter Lauren Manzo, who looked great (though her dress should have been a bit longer). After having Lap-Band surgery, she has lost 35 pounds. Teresa acknowledged that she looked good, but reiterated that Lauren should have lost weight the old fashioned way– by dieting. Lauren noted that she had tried to do so for years, without success. (Teresa has no idea what she’s talking about because she’s probably never had a weight problem in her life; she may have one in her future, though, because karma can be a bitch.)
Things quickly escalated, and Lauren, alluding to an exchange we saw between Gia Giudice and her father this season, said, “When I was 9 years old I wasn’t [asking my father if he had an affair].” Teresa, of course, denied that that had happened, even though cameras had captured it.
And that’s when the ‘napalm” exchange happened. Kudos to Lauren for that.
Next came a nasty exchange between Caroline and Teresa. After Caroline said that she’d never had fillers or Botox, Teresa told her that she should have them, adding that Caroline has three rolls of fat. The other women jumped on Tre for attacking Caroline’s appearance. But Caroline had already attacked her dress, Teresa said, seemingly unaware if the difference.
EU’s apt take: “I think Caroline looks way better than Teresa and even Melissa…The cleavage is out of control.”
When Teresa called 51-year-old Caroline an “old hag,” EU texted, “That was bad. Really bad! And calling Jac a bitch right away.”
Of the whole reunion show, she wrote, “Seriously, I think this is crossing a line even for the RH franchise. It’s horrid.”
After a season in which Teresa was the odd man out, she could have easily gained sympathy from viewers during this reunion, if she’d just behaved decently. But she acted hateful at every turn. And her constant denials, in the face of realities presented to her, is not only old, but ridiculous. What’s more, she doesn’t seem to think at all before she speaks. Case in point: this challenge, “let’s put my husband (and Rich Wakile) in a room and see who picks up more girls.” This, from a woman whose husband has been dogged by rumors of cheating all season.
As for Jacqueline, at one point, she began a refutation to Teresa with, ” I swear on my child who is autistic that…” Strange thing to say…
The ugliest exchange took place between Teresa and first-cousin Kathy Wakile, who was sporting a new nose and plumped up lips. T to K: “You’re so disgusting. You’re a piece of [expletive].” She also also alleged that Kathy “almost got divorced from Richie,” which made Kathy go ballistic.
Next thing you know, Kathy was taking the fight to a while new level by saying to Teresa, “Your mother is a liar.”
Teresa to Kathy: “You are garbage.” Teresa was so upset that she actually got up and moved across to the other side — enemy camp — to sit next to Caroline, who told Teresa, “This is 15 minutes of fame. You are gonna wake up and be alone.”
EU: “Seriously, this is just sad watching family go after each other. It was fun when it was just a bitchslap with Danielle. But this makes me sick.”
Paying no mind to Caroline’s words, Teresa amped up the fight with Kathy, casting aspersions on not only Kathy’s mother, but on her late father.
Cue the caged animal backstage. Kathy’s sister Rosie, dying to get at Teresa, started screaming, “I’ll rip her (expletive) head off” and variations thereof.
On the subject of Rosie, EU and I parted company. I find her obnoxious, and just as much a fame-monger as the others. “Oh, I can see that. But she sounds as frustrated as I feel with this crew,” EU wrote, adding that Rosie was “trending on Twitter.”
And, sadly, for these people, that probably makes it all worthwhile.
As part one ended, we can only imagine what will happen when Rosie does come out onstage in part two and/or three. Ditto, Joe Giudice and Rich Wakile.
Most of all, I wonder, once again, how this current crew could possibly come back for another season together.
“Or who would possibly watch!,” EU added.
Good questions.